So, first thing first: Why am I even writing this? Well this morning, i woke up totally pissed off, why you gonna ask , pretty simple , yesterday i tried working on my writing skills, so I took a piece of paper, a pen, and all the other shit you need to write anything, but, I missed a very important one: Inspiration, which resulted in me not being able to write a single sentence and falling asleep on my desk, so yeah, i woke up in a pretty bad mood. But I had an idea, going to the library, reading a little, just to revive a little spark u know, and so I brought my grumpy ass to the library.

There, i obviously met Ipiu, did the usual little chat we always do, but, she of course couldn't miss my "dead inside" face (not that she's not used to it) so she asked , why that "dead inside" face , so i told her , i mean , she know the drills , inspiration lacking and all , and she went all like "lmao talk about yourself then , you can't lack inspiration about your own life " ... So , as dumb i find it to write about myself here i am .

I searched what i could write about myself with a clear question in mind : "What do people wonder about me by just seeing me " and the answer was pretty simple , considering you don't see a mofo walking around with an upside down cross tattooed in his forehead very often .

So i'm gonna talk about my relation with this dude we call "God" , from the start to now ...

Of course we started pretty well him and I , i mean , living in a christian orphenage helped a lot , but as i was growing up , it really went bad . As i remember the first time i actually really started getting angry at him was at a friend's burial (yay happy story inc.) when i was still a child  . A friend of mine at the orphenage recently died of some disease , can't remember the name honestly i was way to little , and so the only people wich where there were the sisters and the others kids . We were all listening to the priest speech and i remember him saying something like "Because of how good he was , god called him to heaven" , and as it still do now , it made me very upset , so of course being me i stood up and went up like "well if that's true God is a bad person" , got grounded hard by Maria and was forced to sit down again and to keep quiet .

So my own crusade started , if God only took people that where good and following his rules , i would be the baddest mofo and never listening to him again , at first it was just because i was afraid that he'd take me too , but as i was growing up it was more because i actually hated him than anything else .

How that hate actually grew i don't really know , having my imagination and my freedom taken away because of him probably led to that , plus reading the bible did not help a lot , we are like praying him for killing free thinking people , that's a thing .

So yeah that's pretty much it , don't get me wrong i still believe in God , I'm just hating him , and i mean it's not new that i have a problem with autority am i right ? And if your wondering (because that was pretty much the subject here) i actually got the upside-down cross tatooed to piss him off , yeah , that's the only reason , i'm not a satanist or anything , that was just like a huge middle finger adressed to him and i don't regret a single drop of ink used here .